I don’t feel right about this, but here is the blog for that man who rides a push scooter with a trash bag tied to it. He haunts the windswept public square of Back Bay doing pirouettes and trying to catch wind in his makeshift sail.

The first time I ever saw him he was just riding the scooter in chinos and a white shirt. I thought nothing of it because you see guys on segways and sideways bikes and all sorts of goofy urban transport, a push scooter was pretty tame in comparison. The next time he was decked out fully in reflective vest, helmet, and every kind of pad you can think of (cops must’ve hassled him) and he was balancing the scooter on his chin like a seal. Finding the site made me a little sad because I always thought he was just some nutty guy desperate for attention. He’d wait with you at the crosswalk and just stare at you till you looked up and he would nod and unfurl his sail in a practiced gesture like a superhero and wheel one footed into traffic.

Knowing that he is actually a sane and intelligent person makes me feel – somewhat worse.

-M

So this is a series now. Chuck Turner, Boston City Councillor and friend to Diane Wilkerson, has been caught up in that same corruption scandal. He took several cash payments to help get a liquor license for some club in his district. This in itself is not illegal, but taking money for it is. That is the really sad part about this, it was a measly thousand dollars again. Who would jeopardize what is basically a part time job, paying nearly a ninety grand a year for a mere thousand dollars? Especially when there are legal ways to accept large cash donations?

Chuck Turner isn’t my councillor, but he has been in the news more than any other. He attained notoriety when he tried to use council time to protest the Iraq war or something and they had to ask him to knock it off because there was real business pending. He wasn’t very effective in getting things done that I could tell, he liked to talk a lot but I can’t think of much he got pushed through.

For me, the real signal that he is probably guilty and knows he screwed up bad is: he pleaded his case to at a press conference. That is the number one sign that something isn’t right, the press conference isn’t the proper forum for pleading innocence and if you are going to distort the truth that is best place to start.

There is something about a headline titled, Man Wielding Samurai Swords Shot, Killed at Scientology Building in L.A. that just makes me swoon. Such a thing is so distinctly American, driving to the scientology building in a red convertible, getting out with swords only to be shot dead by SECURITY GUARDS. Dude, that sucks.

Really what can one say when you see photos of a Massachusetts State Senator stuffing her bra with $1,000 cash? I think, $1,000? That’s all? What a puny sum to jeopardize a cushy job like State Senator. That doesn’t matter now, they got her and she’s on tape and it doesn’t look good for old Diane Wilkerson. Feds locked her up and she is out on $50,000 bond. I bet she needed an awful big bra for that kind of cash, one of those Dolly Parton bras.

Her district is next to where I live and you can actually sense where the line of demarcation is and your first reaction is to lock the doors and roll up the windows. She has never served her constituency well and its evident as you drive past the liquor stores on bad roads that someone, somewhere couldn’t give a fuck about this place. That is the real shame, the neglect and dereliction of her district. The thousand measly dollars is just the period and the end of the sentence.

Excited? Me too. With a title like barf bag? It would have to be something pretty awesome. SICKSACK.COM is all the damage a man, a scanner and too much time to waste can do. A fine collection of puke bags from airlines around the world.

As if you didn’t need another reason to hate Republicans, here is Amy Goodman of Democracy Now! brutally arrested at the RNC. From here on out I see no reason to be civilized with anyone who is going to vote for John McCain. No reason at all.

What is more adorable than a dog attacking a fountain?

Not much.

M-

“Ideally would like to barter with an established/licensed masseuse, but I’m open to offers…”

Ew… I wonder if that ever works…

If you’re squemish when it comes to jerkin’ it and the elderly, just take my word for it.  He’s super excited to confess it to the folks on Fox and Friends.

But c’mon.  It’s Ernest Borgnine. If he can’t talk about it, who can?  Oh, and also?

Dear Mouth Sewn Shut,

Please write a song that mentions Ernest Borgnine and his masturbation addiction.

Love,

GhettoKing